Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Reasons Why Women Reject Men

Men try their best to impress women. They do everything to capture the hearts of the women they fancy. Relationships usually start out this way. However, in many cases, men do not always get what they work so hard for. They are rejected in the end. There are so many reasons why women tend to reject men. Here are some of them.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Romantic Movies Affect Relationships

    
Everyone loves to watch movies. It’s an enjoyable activity that you can do with your loved ones. It has many advantages, too. Aside from the entertaining aspects of movies, it also has some sort of self-help features.
Many couples enjoy watching movies together. After watching, some opt to discuss the movie and their reaction to it. This creates a bond between couples. It also promotes a healthy means for communication between the two of them.

How Relationships Improve Longevity

     
People with healthy relationships tend to be healthier and to live longer.
The theory
Experts suggest that this is because people in healthy relationships have more support when things go bad. For instance, there is always someone to help them during a crisis, take them to a doctor, help them quit a bad habit or simply calm them down when things get stressful.
Social support does not always yield positive results though. In the case of teens and younger adults, they experience peer pressure. Peer pressure is another form of social support.

Things You Need to Know Before Finding Love

Love and getting into a relationship is something that everyone thinks about at some point of their lives. Finding love and being with someone you wish to spend your life with is easier said than done. You should still have things to know before you go about finding love. This will help ensure that you can find the right relationship some day. Here are some of those things.

The Body Language Of Lying

Trust is always important in any relationship. It is the glue that keeps two people together. When that trust is compromised, such as when a partner starts lying, the relationship may become strained. It takes considerable effort to bring back the same trust on each other once it is broken.
It is hard to determine whether your partner may be lying about something. It is important to discover and know the cues and signals that may give them out in case they are lying. Your partner’s body language may give you some hints. Here are some common body language cues that may help tell you that you spouse may not be telling the truth.

Reasons Women May Not Be Interested In You

Men try their best in order to capture the interest of women. Attraction is important in starting any relationship. But no matter some men may try, they just cannot seem to keep up the interest in women that they date. Questions begin to form in their minds, “Where did I go wrong?” Here are some reasons why women may not be interested in you.

Relationship Lessons From The Experts

Maintaining a successful relationship takes work. A happy marriage is not something that comes in an instant. Couples need to work together in order to maintain a strong and committed bond with each other. It is a lifetime struggle.
Each relationship is unique. There is no one-off solution to a happy marriage that works for everyone. Many relationship therapists and counselors know this for a fact. After all, these therapists and counselors have studied and talked with many couples over the years and understand the complexities of keeping a relationship strong. Here are some of the lessons that they can share about relationships.

Dealing with a Boyfriend Who is Mama’s Boy

Your boyfriend is handsome, smart, sweet, funny and kind. He’s perfect. Except he’s a mama’s boy.
His mama’s-boy-ness can get annoying when it comes spewing out during conversations, petty fights, etc.
But there’s a healthy way to deal with it than to force him to "break it off"(so to speak) with his mom.
Acceptance
Accept that your boyfriend will always be a mama’s boy and that’s never going to change. What you can do is to try to go with it, instead of fighting it.

Buying A Diamond Ring

Does the thought of purchasing a diamond ring overwhelm you? Don’t think you know enough about certificates, inclusions, grading scales, and colors? Or do you know the basics, but need a refresher course? A good understanding of diamonds is necessary before you begin shopping.
    

Saturday, October 26, 2013

How to Overcome Fear of Intimacy

Photo: How to Overcome Fear of Intimacy

Intimacy, as defined by Wikipedia, "is both the ability and the choice to be close, loving, and vulnerable. Intimacy requires identity development. You have to know yourself and your inner self in order to share yourself with another." 

Fear of intimacy is a common relationship problem. Some people are afraid to open up and become vulnerable to their partner. 

What causes fear of intimacy?

Fear of intimacy may stem from childhood experiences. 

Let’s say for instance, your parents had a tumultuous relationship. You depended on them to care for you and love you. However, their rocky relationship left you feeling emotionally abandoned and rejected. 

As children, we identify ourselves with our family and still have not formed the idea of our own identity and worth separate from our family. Thus, if the family is ‘broken’, then we see ourselves as such – broken and defective, and unworthy of being loved. 

Another reason may be that when we were kids, we believed that our parents fought and got divorced because we were bad. Because we thought we were ‘bad’, we see ourselves as unlovable and could possibly be abandoned. 

Why fear of intimacy disrupts relationships?

This kind of childhood trauma causes individuals to take on another identity, so to speak, because they do not want their partners to see the ‘real’ them. But as the relationship goes on, their masks unravel. 

Before their partners can see the real "damaged" self, some people (unconsciously) create scenarios that sabotage their relationships. The reason behind this is that they want to get out of the relationship before they are rejected. 

Overcoming fear of intimacy 

To overcome this fear, first you must recognize that you are hiding your true self. This does not necessarily mean being socially withdrawn. It means putting up a facade. You can hide your real self, even if you are the life of the party.

If you want to overcome your fear of intimacy, note instances when you are hiding, and decide whether you are ready to open up. When you’re finally ready, know when you should open up.

Intimacy means sharing your (true) self to the person you love, so open up. Communicate your thoughts and feelings, your fears and even your wanting to hide. Remember, "shared sorrow is half a sorrow". 

Overcoming your fear of intimacy takes time. Don’t feel obligated to spill everything out all at once. That’s not how it works (for one, you might overwhelm your partner). Open up just a little at a time. Share whatever you are comfortable sharing at a given moment. You will gradually feel more and more comfortable opening up more often. 

Finally, if these practices don’t work, seek help from a counselor. The underlying issues might be too great for you to address without professional help. Dealing with these feelings directly may be the way to overcome your fear of intimacy.
 Intimacy, as defined by Wikipedia, "is both the ability and the choice to be close, loving, and vulnerable. Intimacy requires identity development. You have to know yourself and your inner self in order to ...share yourself with another."
Fear of intimacy is a common relationship problem. Some people are afraid to open up and become vulnerable to their partner.

Things Ladies First Notice In Guys During Dates

Photo: Things Ladies First Notice In Guys During Dates

Dating is all about making impressions. This is where attraction starts and relationships develop. Guys trying to make a good first impression need to know about what the ladies may notice first during the initial meeting. Most women may generally notice the same things about the guy during that first date. Here are some of them.

Hotness Level

The first thing that women notice is the guy’s overall hotness level. Physical qualities can be noticeable from afar, making it one of the very first things most women tend to notice. Having a model physique certainly can work wonders for men in making a good first impression.

How Guys Dress

Most ladies also notice how a guy dresses during that first date. Most women have a particular look that they expect from the guys and it is one of the first things they notice. If the guy comes wearing something that is far from what the date expected, then it may create a bad first impression when the two meet.

A Guy’s Manners

Another thing that many ladies may first notice about their date is the manners he conveys. Even if the guy has that model looks but also has an obvious lack of manners, the ladies may lose interest. Being rude is always the best way to instantly make a bad impression among the ladies. It is one thing that many guys should try to consider before meeting on that first date.

Sense Of Humour

Many women definitely like men who can make them laugh. It is one of those skills that many women find highly attractive in men. It is no wonder it is also one of the things that they first notice when they meet with guys.
 Dating is all about making impressions. This is where attraction starts and relationships develop. Guys trying to make a good first impression need to know about what the ladies may notice fi...rst during the initial meeting. Most women may generally notice the same things about the guy during that first date. Here are some of them.

Things Men First Notice In Women During Dates

Photo: Things Men First Notice In Women During Dates

 
When it comes to first dates, first impressions matter a lot. Women do their best to make the best impression during the first meeting. Knowing what attracts most men first may help a lot in creating that good first impression. Here are some of the things that women should know about when it comes to what guys may notice first.

Nice Body

Men are first attracted to a woman by their physical profile. A good body is what most men notice first during that first meeting. If you are blessed with a sexy body that is to die for, then you already have the advantage. But that is not just what most men look for during that first date.

Cute Face

Facial features also matter for most men. Pretty girls always get the most attention out of most guys. Some guys even notice the cute face first before they notice the body. But both are usually on top of what most guys notice first on women they first meet.

Fashion Sense

This is where some guys may differ. What a woman wears to the date can also have a distinct impression on men. It may differ, depending on a guy’s fashion tastes and preferences. There are others who likes women wearing sexy outfits while there are others who may find it too revealing or too much on the first date. Depending on what they guy likes, the way you dress may also affect the impression that you create.

Voice Level And Mannerisms

One of the first things that many men also notice on many women is the way they talk. Do you talk in a loud voice? Guys may find it annoying, especially if you talk with an obvious lack of manners. Guys may even notice the type of English language you use to speak with and it will matter a lot in the impression they make of you. But in general, guys do not like girls who either talk too much or too loud.
When it comes to first dates, first impressions matter a lot. Women do their best to make the best impression during the first meeting. Knowing what attracts most men first may help a lot in ...creating that good first impression. Here are some of the things that women should know about when it comes to what guys may notice first.

Resolving Communication Problems Among Couples

Photo: Resolving Communication Problems Among Couples#

 great deal of any successful relationship revolves around communication. It is not just about trying to express love that matters. It is about being able to reach out to a partner and find time to interact, communicate and be understood. Without effective communication between couples, the fires of love in a relationship may likely slowly fizzle out. Couples must learn to resolve their communication issues before it’s too late. Here are some useful tips on how to do it.

Make it a point to spend time to talk with each other.

Busy lives can make it hard for couples to sometimes find time to talk and communicate. Work can sometimes take up too much space in their lives that it can lead to lost time interacting with a partner. While some couples might think that they’re now too busy to talk to each other, they will also realize that there is always time. It is just a matter of how to find it. It is important that both partners make it a point to try and spend whatever time there is to talk and communicate. It can just be a matter of turning off that mobile phone or get off the grid for a moment, just to talk.

Give each other time to talk.

While it may be hard for some people to give way to others, it is a must for couples if they wish to stay together longer. The same goes with tying to foster good communication. While you may have your chance to talk, you will also need to give your partner the opportunity to do so. Come up with strict rules of communication such as avoid interrupting a partner who is speaking. Avoid shouting bouts and raising voices at each other when talking. This will help ensure that meaningful talk is assured instead of useless shouting matches.

Focus on your partner during meaningful communication.

Listening is a skill that many couples have a substantial lack for. Sometimes even just their body language can have an effect that show that they are not listening. This can cause disgust with some couples that can lead to both bearing grudges on each other. Before that happens, try to show your partner that you appreciate the time you have to talk with each other. Make sure that you listen intently and not cause your partner to think that you do not care.
 A great deal of any successful relationship revolves around communication. It is not just about trying to express love that matters. It is about being able to reach out to a partner and find t...ime to interact, communicate and be understood. Without effective communication between couples, the fires of love in a relationship may likely slowly fizzle out. Couples must learn to resolve their communication issues before it’s too late. Here are some useful tips on how to do it.

Asking Someone Out On a Date

Photo: Asking Someone Out On a Date

If you like someone and want to know them more, you may have to ask them for a date. This is a standard practice for men, and it is increasingly becoming common among women. If you have someone in mind that you would love to go out with, breathe deeply and follow these guidelines.

Ask yourself first – Know why you are asking them out and if it is for the right reasons. Recognize your expectations as a result of them saying yes or no.

Saying no is a possibility – Be prepared that the person you ask may say no. If this happens, do not take the rejection personally and do not chase them as well. They maybe thinking of things and get back to you with a “yes” later.

Choose the right moment – See to it that the person you are asking is in a light mood. At certain instances, do not approach them when they are stressed out after work, while eating, or while with a group of friends.

Practice what you should say – Don’t think of the cheesiest pick-up line imaginable. A simple “Hi! My name is…and I was wondering if you are free for lunch today?” is enough. Practice what you might say in advance so that you don’t appear tongue-tied.

Do not ask with open-ended questions – Phrases like “Do you want to go out?” can lead to awkward follow-up conversations.

Do not ask with vague questions – Do not give a vague impression on your prospective date with questions such as “What are you doing Saturday night?”

Avoid asking them out while drunk – You may think that taking a shot before asking would boost your courage level, actually it’s not. It would backfire, too.

Prepare the place, date, and time, in advance – Before asking them out, be sure that you already have an idea where and when your date would be, just in case they say yes. In this way, you are showing that you are thoughtful.

Create a sense of trust immediately – If the person asks you why you want to date them, flatter about his or her personality. People can be wary and may want to know some reason behind your request. If she hesitates, try asking her to bring each other’s friends along.

Know what you are going to say – Tell your prospect what you want to suggest doing on the date. The other person will be more comfortable if they know exactly what you’re intentions are and what you want to do.

Do not pressure them into saying yes – If they want to think about it, let them. But don’t chase.

Smile – Bring out your positive personality. Be confident and happy to elicit a far more positive response.

Prepare for an alternative schedule – If they are unsure about their schedule, or your proposed date schedule conflicts theirs, provide a different date and time or location.

Intend to go on your date – Standing people up is a definite no-no in dating.
 If you like someone and want to know them more, you may have to ask them for a date. This is a standard practice for men, and it is increasingly becoming common among women. If you have someone in mind that you... would love to go out with, breathe deeply and follow these guidelines.

How to Be Attractive to Women

It seems like a lot of men have the misconception that getting women means having freakishly huge muscles, a lot of confidence, a cool car and being a jerk. On the contrary, none of those things are needed.

5 Ways to Keep Long-Distance Relationships Strong

Photo: 5 Ways to Keep Long-Distance Relationships Strong
Do you ever feel like the distance is unbearable?  

You can talk on the phone or video chat but it’s just not the same as them being there in person, to touch, to hold, to laugh with, to kiss?    Long-distance relationships are a reality many of us face when life moves our partners away from us for one reason or another.

Maybe it’s school, work, military, health, or financial constraints keeping you apart.  Maybe all the happiness and joy you may have felt in the past is now overshadowed by bickering and fighting.

We’ve all asked ourselves at some point, “Is it worth it anymore?”

But don’t give up!

Here are 5 ways to keep your long-distance relationship strong, exciting, and fulfilling:

1. Trust them

You need to feel confident that if your partner goes and hangs out with friends that they will maintain their loyalty, dignity, and respect for your feelings.  If you’re uncomfortable with something they’re doing, tell them!  But guilting them into feeling like they can’t go out, do things, or have fun without you is a sure way to breed resentment.

2. Be independent

You need to have your OWN life too! Having activities, hobbies, and friends outside of your partner is a crucial part of making sure your relationship stays healthy and balanced.  There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re stuck at home waiting for your partner to call while they’re off busy with something in their lives.  It’s normal and natural for each of you to form separate social circles due to the distance, but that doesn’t mean your lives can’t be complementary.

3. Make time for them

When we’re NOT in a long-distance relationship, we sometimes take for granted all of the little things you might do together, such as eating breakfast, grocery shopping, watching TV, etc.  This makes it even MORE important to make sure you allocate time to spend together, as busy as each of your lives may be.  Maybe it’s 30 minutes a day on the phone, maybe it’s less, maybe it’s more.  You have to try HARDER than the normal couple because of the distance.  Putting in the effort to communicate regularly will ensure you keep that emotional connection.

4. Have “dates” together

Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you can’t still have dates together!  Pull up Skype and eat dinner together or watch something on Netflix and chat throughout.   You can still bond even though you’re not physically together.

5.  Plan for your future together

There IS a light at the end of the tunnel!  Your relationship probably won’t be long-distance forever.  Typically it will come to an end once school is over, work transfers your partner back home, they return from the military, etc.  When times get tough, try to focus on the countdown until you’re together.  Remember, if you can get through this, your relationship will be strong as nails and you guys will be able to get through anything!

This month in our program, Next Level: Love & Relationships, we’re discussing “The Foundation.”  In particular, we discuss how to figure out what you really WANT from your current partner.   When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it becomes even MORE important to identify your non-physical needs so you can communicate these things to your partner and work on them while you’re apart.

So we want to know, those of you who are in a Long-Distance Relationship (or have been in one in the past), what is the most challenging part?  What have you found to be most helpful to get through those tough times when you’re doubting if it’s worth all the effort? Leave your replies in the Comments section below.
Do you ever feel like the distance is unbearable?

You can talk on the phone or video chat but it’s just not the same as them being there in person, to touch, to hold, to laugh with, to kiss? Long-distance relationships are a reality many of us face when life moves our partners away from us for one reason or another.

3 Signs that they TRULY love you

Photo: 3 Signs that they TRULY love you
Do you ever wonder if your partner truly loves you?  Maybe they say it to you sometimes, but you still ask yourself how devoted they are to you?  Will they be there through thick and thin?  Will they be there for you not only at your best, but at your worst? Can they actually give you what you WANT in life?

There are 3 signs to know whether they truly love you:

1.       It’s not what they SAY, it’s what they DO

Do your partner’s actions align with their words?  Making overtures about their love for you is nice but if they continue to do things that illustrate their lack of love for you, then what value are their words?  You’ll know you’ve got a keeper when you find it hard to remember the last time they said one thing, but did another.

2.       They love you for YOU

Have you ever been in a relationship where it seemed like your partner was never satisfied with who you are?  Maybe you’re in a relationship like that now?  No matter how hard you try, they’ve always got a derogatory comment about some way in which you can change or improve.  Someone who truly loves you accepts you for who you are!  It’s never too late to stand up for yourself and tell them how you feel!

3.       They ALWAYS consider your feelings

One of the clearest signs your partner truly loves you is that they show you genuine empathy.  In fact, they often put your wants, needs, and feelings before their own!  They would never dream of making a major life decision, especially one that impacts both of you, without consulting you first.  True love is about compassion, integrity, and mutual respect.
Do you ever wonder if your partner truly loves you? Maybe they say it to you sometimes, but you still ask yourself how devoted they are to you? Will they be there through thick and thin? Will they be ther...e for you not only at your best, but at your worst? Can they actually give you what you WANT in life?

5 Tips to STOP Fighting

Photo: 5 Tips to STOP Fighting
  
If there’s one thing we all hate, it’s FIGHTING! Can’t we all just get along?  Not only do arguments consume an inordinate amount of time, but they often prevent you from truly focusing on improving your lives together.  That being said, it’s still hard to know HOW to stop…

Here are our 5 tips to stop fighting:

1.       Determine what you’re REALLY fighting about

We’ve all fought about stupid, small stuff before.  When you’re shouting at the top of your lungs “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO BRING IN THE NEWSPAPER THIS MORNING!” – chances are good there’s something deeper going on.  Are you feeling overwhelmed by all the chores to do around the house?  Are you annoyed that they’ve forgotten to do a lot of other things lately? The first and most important tip is to zero-in on the true root cause of your frustration.

2.       Don’t hold it inside forever – tell them!

Nothing good comes from bottling up your anger and pushing it further and further down inside.  Not only will your partner continue the behaviour that’s bothering you, but they’ll actually think you’re happy.  Don’t let your suppressed emotions explode when you least expect it; speak your mind and deal with it together in the moment.

3.       Be empathetic

Is your partner under a deadline at work?  Have they been feeling ill lately?  Are there issues with their family or friends?  Being sensitive to their current circumstances will greatly minimize stress-induced fights.  Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bring up important issues but having heightened awareness should help you decide the most opportune time.

4.       Remove ego

Fights are prolonged by stubbornness.  If you both refuse to hear each other’s sides, you’ll be doomed to argue in circles forever.  Show your maturity by accepting responsibility for your actions and say, “I’m truly sorry for what I did.  Let’s talk about how we can move past this together.”

5.       Keep things in perspective

The next time you’re embroiled in a heated argument, think, just for a moment, about all of the strife and heartache that exists in our world.  Is this fight really meaningful in the grand scheme of things?  I’m not suggesting all your issues together are insignificant—some fights can lead to meaningful relationship progress.  But keeping in perspective the awe-inspiring beauty of life may help you measure what’s truly important.
If there’s one thing we all hate, it’s FIGHTING! Can’t we all just get along? Not only do arguments consume an inordinate amount of time, but they often prevent you from truly focusing on improving your lives tog...ether. That being said, it’s still hard to know HOW to stop…

Here are our 5 tips to stop fighting:

 1. Determine what you’re REALLY fighting about

Thoughts on Online Dating

Photo: Thoughts on Online Dating
Many of you have asked us our thoughts on Online Dating, so I thought I’d share my perspective.

There are two fundamental, complementary aspects to every relationship: chemistry and compatibility.  Chemistry is the way you feel when you’re around that special someone; it’s intangible, it’s butterflies in your stomach, it’s something you can’t quite put your finger on.  All you know is you want to be around them as much as possible!

Equally important is compatibility.   Do they want the same things as you in life? Do they want kids? What are their political views? Are they very religious? Do they prefer partying or a quiet night in at home? Do you have similar spending habits? …and so on.

In the typical dating dynamic, it’s often hard to discern compatibility until after many dates since these topics are sensitive and sometimes taboo.  You might be dating someone for months before finding out they don’t want kids!

In my view, online dating takes away much of the guess work.  With relative ease, you can sift through profiles and decide whether they fit with what you’re looking for in a partner.  Then when you decide to take the next step, you can meet for coffee to feel each other out and measure the chemistry!  The best part about this model is that you won’t waste 2 months dating someone with whom you have a fundamental incompatibility.

Yes, you’re going to probably receive some creepy messages and have some bad dates but if you’re really interested in finding True Love, give it a shot!
 Many of you have asked us our thoughts on Online Dating, so I thought I’d share my perspective.
There are two fundamental, complementary aspects to every relationship: chemistry and compatibility. Chemistry is the way you feel when you’re around that special someone; it’s intangible, it’s butterflies in your stomach, it’s something you can’t quite put your finger on. All you know is you want to be around them as much as possible!